Preventing Holiday Meltdowns

Are you seeing more meltdowns from your baby or toddler during the holidays? Maybe you’re looking for tips on preventing holiday meltdowns, tips for handling meltdowns when they do happen, or what to do after a meltdown. You’re not alone, and you’re in the right place.

Why does my child have more tantrums around the holidays?#anchor

The holidays bring so many new experiences: meeting new people, eating new foods, and visiting new places. They're also filled with shifted routines and unfamiliar activities. All of that excitement can be overwhelming and lead to more meltdowns (for your little ones and for you too). 

Here are other reasons you might be seeing more meltdowns around the holidays:

• When schedules are out of routine, children can sometimes feel a loss of control and predictability.

• Holidays can be stressful for parents, and little ones mirror our emotions.

• Connection with parents provides stability for children, but during busy seasons, there is often less intentional 1-on-1 time. 

• Holiday gatherings often happen when your little one is usually winding down or sleeping, which can lead to an overtired baby or toddler.

How can I help prevent holiday meltdowns? #anchor

I wish I had a foolproof plan to avoid all holiday meltdowns. Honestly, I can’t even prevent all of my own holiday meltdowns! But here are some ways to set yourself up for success:

1. Start with a well-rested baby or toddler.#anchor

If you’re finding this blog before the holiday season kicks off, this truly is my best tip for preventing holiday meltdowns. Well-rested babies and toddlers are more flexible, more adaptable, and overall just more pleasant to be around. 

2. Follow the 80/20 rule.#anchor

Christmas gatherings and holiday festivities often happen at times that throw our normal sleep patterns “off”: So, what do you do? Aim to follow your consistent routine 80% of the time while allowing for flexibility and “breaking the rules” the other 20% of the time.

If possible, plan the day after a late night or busy day to be a bit “low-key.” During the low-key times, try your best to follow your normal routines and schedule. Maintaining some of those familiar patterns will provide comfort, security, and predictability during a time with so many new events and faces. You can read more about navigating Baby Sleep and the Holidays here.

3. Check in on yourself.#anchor

Understand that little ones mirror their parents. If we are stressed, anxious, or upset, they feel it. And, they mirror it back to us. Taking time to check in on ourselves and being honest about how we’re feeling is so helpful. (Go ahead and take some deep breaths, if needed!) When they feel us relax, they can mirror that back to us.

4. Carve out unplanned time during busy days.#anchor

Much like adults, babies and toddlers need time away from the action to reset and recharge. Being "on" with unfamiliar people in unfamiliar places can be taxing for your little one. Each day, allow your child time for self-directed play, physical activity, and 1-on-1 connection with you.

5. Prepare your little one in advance.#anchor

Children thrive when they know what's coming next. Tell your little one about what they can expect, even if you don’t think they understand yet. Talk about the large family holiday gathering, about the music, about the food, about opening presents. Remember, we’ve been to many of these events, but for our little ones, it’s all new – which can feel a bit overwhelming or even scary.

6. Allow time to ease into new situations#anchor

I get it: everyone wants to hold your baby or interact with your toddler. However, crowds can be a bit overwhelming, and even someone you've known your whole life may be a stranger to your little one. Don't forget to give your child time to "warm up" to the situation. Before handing your little one off to a family member or friend, allow them to ease into the action by observing and meeting people with you by their side.

7. Walk confidently in what you know about your baby or toddler.#anchor

I know there can be so many opinions about parenting, baby and toddler sleep, feeding, and so much more. Yes, always, but especially during the holidays. 

I want you to remember YOU are the expert on your little one. Nobody knows them better than you. Unsolicited advice may come your way, but don’t let that make you question the decisions you’ve made for your family. Your confidence will communicate safety and security, which leads to fewer meltdowns (for both you and your little one).

What are tips for handling meltdowns in the moment? #anchor

You’ve done your best to prevent holiday meltdowns, but sometimes they’re inevitable. When your child is in the middle of a meltdown, especially during holiday festivities, focus on these three things:

1. Find your own calm. I know it’s easy to get caught up in the meltdown and feel yourself spiral right alongside your little one, especially when you feel so many eyes on you. Take a few deep breaths. Finding your own calm will allow your little one to feel safe, even when their emotions are overwhelming.

2. Remove them from the environment. Overstimulation can feed a meltdown. If a meltdown is in the middle of a holiday event, all of the attention and activity can make it very difficult for your little one to calm down. Find a quiet place, even a bathroom, to give your child space away from the commotion. (Keep in mind, this isn’t a “punishment,” this is you meeting your little one right where they need you and giving a safe, calm, and private environment to reset.)

3. Focus on connection. Try to give your child as much connected attention (hugs, holding hands, sitting together quietly, etc.) as possible until they are calm. Then, spend a few minutes doing something quiet together (peek-a-boo, eye spy, singing songs, reading a book) before you rejoin the festivities.

As a parent, I’ll be the first to admit that my kids’ meltdowns have affected my emotions. They’ve made me feel a loss of control, embarrassment, frustration, and a whole host of other feelings. If you’ve experienced this too, you’re not alone. As much as you’re able, give yourself some grace with your own emotions as you navigate the holiday meltdowns.